I don’t want to hear excuses this time.
Now, I know that you’ve been saying that you can’t possibly own a goat what with your full-time job and busy schedule and the fact that you don’t have a backyard blah blah blah…excuses, excuses.
The time for a goat is NOW, my friend! You don’t want to be looking back a year from now and be all, “WHY OH WHY didn’t I listen to DaNelle and get a goat?! My life is worth nothing!” Goat regret. It happens.
5 Reasons Why YOU need a Goat.
Just in case you have a significant other who you’re still trying to convince, I’ve complied a list of reasons why you definitely, absolutely, and unequivocally need a goat.
Reason #1 You have instant bragging rights about your amazing life because you now own goats.
I mean, I don’t normally like to brag, but I DO own goats, soooo….it’s kind of hard not to. Oh, you have a brand new Lexus? I just bought a new goat. You’re taking your whole family on a trip to Hawaii? My goat just ate like 20 mangos in like 10 minutes. Your pregnant with twins? My goat’s pregnant with triplets and she’s not getting an epidural.
Reason #2 You now have the best conversation stopper/starter ever.
The best thing about owning a goat is that it helps you both ways conversation-wise. Allow me to share with you a possible conversation…
(awkward silence with a fellow mom at the school drop off)
YOU: “Overcast weather today, isn’t it? I slept in and almost forgot to feed my goats on time!”
(checkout lady won’t stop talking about every dang item she scans)
YOU: “I find those thermometers work best for checking my goat’s rectal temps.”
Reason #3 Baby goats do parkour jumps at 3 days old.
I don’t care who you are, when your baby goat starts doing parkour at only 3 days old, you freak out and record it and share it with everybody in the universe. Because, baby goats! And parkour!
Reason #4 Naming a goat is way more fun than naming your own kid.
Admit it, when it comes to naming your offspring, as much as you’d like to be adventurous and artistic, you know deep down that you can’t screw with their name like that. Hence, the reason why people still name their kids ‘Matthew’.
When it comes to goats, however, there is LITERALLY no way you could screw up their name. You can go old school with a name like Nancy or Gerald, or you can go totally off the wall and name your goat Voldemort or Sir Charles III. It works either way.
Reason #5 Even when everything else is wrong in your life, you can still think, “Hey at least I still totes have ma’ goats.”
Imagine yourself homeless, but with a goat. Do you know how hard you’d rock that scenario? I can just see you now, drinking milk from your goat, snuggling with your goat on cold nights, fashioning a cart, training your goat how to pull it and going for a ride! I’m just saying, even if you lost everything, your goats would have your back.
Let’s face it, you’ve got a fever, and the only cure is a goat.
What are you waiting for? Get out there and get your goat before somebody talks you out of it!
Watch my video below of goats! Because, goats!