“If you can pinch an inch, you’re fat.”
These were the words my friend announced as we gathered around the 7th grade lunch table. While nobody was looking, I quietly reached down and pinched my stomach. Disappointment overcame me as I definitely saw a good inch of stomach skin grasped between my fingers.
Was I fat?
It was the first time I had ever looked at my body in a negative way. My childhood consisted of climbing trees, neighborhood games of kickball and plenty of rollerblading in my neon knee and elbow pads. I loved to run and I loved to play sports with any boys that would let me. Coming from a family of all girls, I was quickly labeled the tomboy of the crew, which I was happy about.
As that day’s lunch talk continued with a discussion of how Skittles were totally low fat and Sprite would kill you, I found myself puzzled as to why I need to care about being fat. Up until that lunch day, I was healthy and happy. Wasn’t that enough?
That awkward moment when people tell you you’re skinny.
Most of you know the story of how I was able to reverse our family’s health issues and lose weight myself with a real food diet. To some it may sound overwhelming to eat real food, but actually it was pretty simple. We cut out the processed food, learned how to cook from scratch, and found that our bodies liked it. And bonus, I shed pound easily.
What you probably didn’t know is that while I was feeling better and weighed lighter, I found myself in the oddest predicament.
People kept praising me for being skinny. And it felt good. While initially my intentions were to reverse my health issues, I discovered people were more excited about the weight loss. I was able to write about my story in my book Have Your Cake & Lose Weight Too.
The problem came when I started to obsess about an extra pound here or there.
Finding peace with your body (and food).
I’m convinced that to reach TRUE health, we must be at peace with what our body is and where it has brought us. And we have to realize that health trumps weight, every time. A real food diet really has done amazing things for my body. I was able to reverse my chronic inflammatory state in my back to almost nothing, and improve my thyroid function.
In the middle of the summer, I was contacted by Woman’s World to be on the cover of their magazine to feature my “groundbreaking” diet and weight loss success. To me, it didn’t seem really groundbreaking because I just ate whole, unprocessed food. But to them it was unheard of, and I spend the next three months in interviews trying to explain the concept of eating full-fat dairy products and whole eggs (without reducing carbs to compensate) to the editors at Woman’s World.
As the cover date approached, I found myself nervous. Was I a total scam? Was I skinny enough to be on Woman’s World? Was that a question I should even be concerned about? I’m just a normal girl in Arizona, playing with some goats. Even though I did write a book on my success with weight loss and the healing of my body with real food, I wasn’t sure people would find me legit.
A dose of reality.
During this time of my insecurity, one of my well-known blogger friends told me one of the most profound things. She said,
“DaNelle, whenever I see a really skinny body, I always think, gosh, I hope she’s taking care of her body. Don’t equate being skinny with being healthy. People do it all the time, but it’s NOT the same thing. Focus on being healthy & being strong. You have one life to live, and I’m telling you that’s all that matters.”
Are skinny and healthy the same thing?
I’ve thought a lot on this subject and here’s the conclusion I’ve come to…
At the skinniest I’ve been in my adult life, which was around 120 lbs. after I did the GAPS diet, that was also the time when I felt the worst. Fatigue, achy joints, anxiety & depression all plagued me. At my current weight, around 130 lbs., I feel amazing. I’m happy, I sleep well, I enjoy real food (and 20% of crappy food) and most importantly, most of my health issues have subsided considerably.
When I think about which I would rather have, and the years I spent suffering during my most unhealthy years, I’m telling you, I’d take healthy over skinny ANY DAY.
Here’s my current thoughts on health & weight in general. I think that if you can focus on REAL FOOD, you are SO MUCH better off. You can naturally lose pounds while feeling satisfied and nourished. What I don’t believe is the ability to maintain that health by chasing diets or unhealthy practices to simply to see the numbers on the scale drop.
In the end, what we should be asking ourselves is, can we accept our bodies right now and focus on what we love about food instead of what we should limit? My hope is that we as women can support each other as we each find that balance for ourselves.
Luna says
April 18, 2015 at 5:03 pm@Emily, who commented above:
I also tend to bloat on what a lot of people see as a whole food diet. It’s not the diet as a whole – it’s the bread. Grains can cause a lot of issues when they aren’t prepared correctly, and they’re better but not great even then. Low carb cuts out most grains, reducing these effects significantly. If properly preparing grains is too much of a pain for you, it’s OK to eat very little grain. This will reduce your carbohydrate intake, but as long as you’re eating enough whole food your body will compensate.
Emily says
April 21, 2015 at 11:32 amThanks Luna! I do think I do better with just a little grain, or no grain at all. Lately I’ve allowed myself to occasionally have some sprouted spelt bread and also some rye crackers. I don’t seem to have too much of a problem with those, so long as I keep the servings small 🙂
Kaycee says
April 8, 2015 at 11:43 amYou make some really good points here. I remember in the 4th grade when the idea of being fat was first introduced to me. It’s a shame we can’t go back and erase that moment!
I currently weigh 300lbs and if you black out my weight on my medical records i am the picture of perfect health. I exercise, and have great numbers when it comes to bloodwork. Fortunately I have a cool doctor who encourages me to lose some weight, but fully recognizes that I m in great health. My grandmother and great grandmother both lived well into their 90s and both were in the upper 200s on the scale.
I would like to be smaller, but only for superficial reasons, like physical comfort and clothing. I think it is far more important to be healthy and enjoy my life. You will find me on the beach this summer in a regular swimsuit and in plenty of photos because carrying extra weight doesn’t limit my capacity to have fun, nor does it negate my existance!
Thanks DaNelle!
Emily says
March 24, 2015 at 12:19 pmGreat post! And I agree…perfect timing. I am in the midst of a DietBet and trying desperately to get the pounds off so I can lose some weight and get my money back 🙂 But it seems that quick weight loss just comes right back + some.
I do have a question for anyone that would be willing to answer: when I try a natural and traditional way of eating, I get really bloated. Any ideas? When I try low carb, the bloating goes away. But I really like bread and really really want to be able to eat anything I want!!! How do you guys deal with bloating? Does this eventually go away?
Kat says
March 24, 2015 at 5:09 amThank you for a great post! I think every woman should read this. Real Food has made such a difference in how I feel and my health. Health is the main goal, but worrying about what the scale says always seems to creep in. I will have to bookmark this for a reminder of what really matters.
Laura Black says
March 20, 2015 at 7:53 amThank you so much for this! I have been noticing how food affects me ever since I went gluten free and became, well, functional. For this reason, I hope to be producing a lot of my own food soon. But since I started losing weight from eating better and exercising, sometimes I still find myself going though periods where I feel like I need to be checking how much I weigh and find myself worrying about the number on the scale. I know this is not healthy, but it helps to hear it again!
Cookies n' Creme says
March 19, 2015 at 6:14 pmThis. was. perfect. timing!!!
I am SO glad you posted this post today!! It was just what I needed to hear. In my past I have struggled with anorexia, and now that I am a normal weight, it is really hard to accept my body the way it is. You are so encouraging. I think this subject should be touched on more….In my grade 8 “health” books, I was taught that ‘if you can pinch an inch you’re fat,’ and ‘drink a big glass of water before every meal to fill you up so you don’t eat as much,’ and ‘don’t eat saturated fats,’ but ‘eat low-fat,’ and ‘drink 8 glasses of water every day,’ and ‘salt makes you fat,’ ect. ect. It is really sad how there is so many “health” rules out there that have totally ruined my health. And other people’s, I’m sure. Sometimes I look back and think, ‘if only I had listened to my body, I wouldn’t have wrecked my health and metabolism….Anorexia hurt so so much more then my body, it hurt my heart and I’m sure so, so many people’s hearts around me. During that awful time I was so lifeless and dead……I often think, I haven’t just gained WEIGHT since, I have gained back LIFE and HEALTH and HAPPINESS and FRIENDS….And I came back stronger then I ever was….But sometimes I still look at my body and think I’m fat. It’s hard. But thanks so much for posting what you did today. It’s a big help.
OlivYew says
March 18, 2015 at 5:56 pmThis is something I have struggled with since my teen years. I always find something about my body that I don’t like. Slowly I am trying to change my opinion, not my body. I want to be healthy and am trying to make those changes but I’m never going to be tall or model-skinny and I will always have stretch-marked thighs. I am learning to accept those things and live a happy life because your friend is right, we only get one chance at it.
Stephanie says
March 18, 2015 at 5:24 pmUgh. I KNOW this to be true. But it is so hard to not concentrate on the weight. I lost 43 lbs through intermittent fasting in 2013. Last year, with my husband’s business trips and the stress that came with those, I gained 20-25 back. I am so discouraged. I eat SO healthy. I don’t Indulge in junk food or soda or fast food. I make almost all our food at home from scratch. And yet–here I am! I could scream. But I AM strong and healthy.