There’s the South Beach, Atkins, The Caveman (Paleo), The Zone, Weight Watchers, The Mediterranean, Nutrisystem, HCG, Glycemic Index, The Fat Smash, Fruit Flush, Raw Food Diet, Juice Feast/Fast Diet
I could go on and on and on, but I’ll leave the diet decision-making fun up to you.
First, let’s get real here. Each of these diets have different methods of execution, but they basically are trying to accomplish the same thing.
To get you to stop eating crap.
OH YAYUH, DETOX BABY!
Yep, it’s about to get real ugly up in here. Well, actually not here, I’m not on a diet anymore, I’m talking about you.
Since I was able to successfully lose 35 lbs. with my real food diet, I thought I’d impart some wisdom from someone on the other side.
Who NEVER thought she’d EVER be on the other side.
I wish I could invite each and every one of you to my house and grab you by the shoulders and shake you and salmon slap you into sticking to your diet. But I can’t do that. Salmon is freaking expensive!
Instead I’ll give you some tips on how I was able to stick to my real food diet which is amazingly easy and delicious and loverly.
That’s right folks, MAINTENANCE seriously couldn’t be more wonderful! So, I’m gonna help you get there. Get ready for some rockin’ tips people.
Tip #1 – Eat vegetables. Haha, just kidding. Okay, now I’m just being mean. Do-over.
Tip #1 – RESEARCH YOUR DIET (or new lifestyle) CALMLY & RATIONALLY instead of an OH MY GOSH I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT HOLY CRAP I’LL DO ANYTHING person. Reason? You won’t feel stressed, you’ll make an educated decision, you’ll actually enjoy the process of deciding which diet will work best for YOU.
Tip #2 – ABSOLUTELY, EQUIVOCALLY DON’T BINGE BEFORE YOU PURGE!
I cannot stress to you the importance of NOT stuffing your face with crap in preparation for your diet. First of all, it PLANTS the IDEA in your head that you won’t enjoy food at all during your diet and that you will never eat junk food again. (Which isn’t true at all. Yes, in maintenance you’ll eat LESS junk, but you can still have whatever your little heart desires, in moderation, which by the way will be super easy to do after you have detoxed) Eat how you normally eat the weekend before. Even if it is pizza and soda, that’s okay as long as it’s you’re normal. Don’t think “Hmmm, what is the most delicious, unhealthy I can eat before my diet? Oreos, ice cream, and hotdogs and……” You get the point. Don’t fall into this thought process.
Tip #3 – READ UP ON DETOX AND WHAT YOU SHOULD EXPECT If you can understand why you feel cranky, tired, and why you’re acting like a biotch to everybody, then you will be able to handle it a lot better. Understanding detox turns it into a process you can recognize and observe. Like a real-life science experiment. With your body. You can read about what to expect in the first week of pretty much any diet HERE.
Tip #4 – GO EASY ON THE EXERCISE, PEOPLE If I lost weight with absolutely 0:00 minutes of exercise, you can do it with light exercise or none at all. You don’t have to be a boot camp graduate to be successful in losing weight. What I’m basically saying is don’t try to DO IT ALL. The idea that we have to exercise like crazy to lose weight is FALSE. Our ancestors would literally laugh their butts off if they saw us running on the treadmill or lifting weights. We can maintain our weight with healthy eating believe you me. And I’m not dissing exercise here. It’s awesome for building strong bodies, but I’m just saying you don’t HAVE to do it to lose weight.
Tip #5 – MIND OVER MATTER Repeat these thoughts to yourself “I can do this.” “I’ve eaten plenty of junk in my life, I think I can go ONE month without fast food.” “I can skip that dish at our family gathering. It doesn’t mean I will never eat it again. I just am passing on it RIGHT NOW.” “It doesn’t matter that my sister eats whatever she wants and remains a size 2. This is my body. I’m cleaning it and I will maintain with a healthy lifestyle and be happy!” “I”m really craving ______. But I know that it’s just because I’m detoxing. Soon I won’t crave it, but I’ll still have the choice to eat it.” Keep repeating these positive thoughts when you feel some cravings come over. IT WON’T ALWAYS BE THIS HARD. This is a huge part of detoxing from your cravings. You will LITERALLY be shocked at how your cravings for junk disappear! Stay Strong!
Tip #6 – DON’T LIE TO YOURSELF ABOUT HOLIDAYS Don’t even get me started about how hard it is to lose weight during the holidays. You’re lying. I lost all my weight from September to December. How? By only eating delicious holiday dishes and stuffing myself on the ACTUAL HOLIDAY. I enjoyed mountains of food on Halloween DAY, on Thanksgiving DAY, on Christmas Eve DAY and Christmas DAY. I skipped out on next day leftovers and all the junk in between and that was the key. You can do it, it is possible!
Tip #7 – BE PATIENT YO’ & CHILLAX – I understand this is probably the hardest thing to hear. We want to lose weight and we want to lose it now dang it! But understand that it took some years to get that weight on and it’s not coming off instantaneously. In fact, you don’t want it to come off fast. The faster you lose weight, the faster and easier you’ll gain it back. A slow, steady weight loss, say around 1-2lbs a week is the ideal. Please, please, please, please, don’t be FOOLED by the lose 15 pounds in 2 weeks diets! There’s one I mentioned up there that claims this. I’m not going to name names or anything –okay I am, it’s the HCG diet. A load of shiz if you ask me. And not one I would recommend because of the restrictive calories. I’m all about restricting certain foods, just not calories.
So, how are you feelin’?
Are you pumped now to start your diet? I hope my tips help you and you can get to the point where you can enjoy a healthy lifestyle!